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The Cave Bear Archetype

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My dad asked me a little while ago what animal archetype I thought he was. I told him I really couldn’t answer that because I obviously don’t know him in a romantic sense but that I suspected he was a cave bear. My dad is the type that requires a lot of alone time or “me time” as he has always called it. He really can’t function without at least a few hours of solitude each and every day. He and my mum have also been forced to spend a lot of time apart over the years because of his work that often has him traveling out of state or country for many months on end. I know he struggles with the separations but his cave bear tendency, I’m sure, is what allows him to cope.

Bears are solitary creatures. In the springtime females put out a pheromone that attracts the males and after a few days of flirting, sniffing, neck biting, and wrestling – coitus eventually occurs. After this, the males unceremoniously return to their caves and the females go on to raise their children as single mums.

In my dating adventures I have come across a cave bear or two, myself. They can be really confusing animals because for as much as they love their space, they also love affection. Like teddy bears, cave bears really do love to be loved – but they are also a creature that must retreat. It’s just not in them to be glued to the hip of a mate. They can’t do it. Eventually they need to take some time out.

There are a few cave bears around, like my father, who can successfully commit to a long term relationship but in my experience this is the exception to the rule and the fact that my mum has been able to put up with my dad for all these (over thirty) years has to do with the fact that she is very easy going about his needing cave time.

In contrast to my dad, I find that most cave bears are the types that will have a lot of short term relationships or long term casual relationships over the course of their lives. Committed, long-term relationships are a struggle for them because they often feel smothered. Their alone time is like oxygen to them and if they feel they aren’t getting enough of it, they’ll ditch you – but not before giving you a taste of why bears are so feared by so many.

The iconic book “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” is based on the theory that all men require this kind of alone time and that as women, it is important to respect them this. For cave bears, this is much more than a theory. It’s an absolute truth (x about a million).

If you try to follow a cave bear into his cave or if you sit at the edge of the cave waiting – hoping – for him to come out, he will only stay in there longer. You will only be creating an endless winter for yourself and you will probably freeze to death before you see him retreat from his hibernation and welcome you back with open arms.

If, though, you can allow your cave bear the freedom to hibernate for as long as he needs and in the meantime busy yourself with your own fabulous life, then there’s a good chance you’ll come to see more and more of his sweet teddy bear side and less of his aloof, retreating side – or worse, his vicious predator-side.

The important thing to remember is that there really isn’t a whole lot of interesting stuff happening in the cave, anyway. You might start to go on one of those thought chains that spiral out of control and have you convinced that the cave is full of all-night parties and beautiful women but in actuality it’s much more likely to be filled with Mountain Dew, Doritos, Play Station, the History Channel, cheap beer, lotion, tissues, etc. etc. etc. It’s really not any place you would want to be…

So cheer up, girlies! Don’t worry about your bears when they disappear into their caves. It’s all good and you’re way too amazing to be worrying about all of THAT!

Bye for now!!

Carly xxoxx

ps – after writing this, I’m totally craving Doritos!

pps – I can’t beleive this crazy coincidence .. my mum just told me she sent my dad (who is away on a work assignment) ….. CLAN OF THE CAVE BEAR!! How crazy is that!
More like this:
The Tape Worm Archetype
The Flying Fox Archetype
The Bower Bird Archetype

The Flying Fox Archetype

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Part two of my exploration into animal archetypes.

The Belief
“Who needs great love when you have great lovers”

The Biology
The flying fox is a large species of fruit bat with a head that resembles a fox. They are believed to be descended from primates and of Australian animals, are the species most closely related to humans. Their loves lives centre around a local dominant male whose role in the community is to breed with every female (over the age of two). Sometimes females will also seek out the services of additional lovers as they are not the shy, submissive types and if “in the mood” will not simply wait around for the dominant male to be free.

Sexual selection (ie female insistence) has favoured in this species males who are extremely good lovers. They are particularly adept at felacia and during the mating season become true sex machines, maintaining a full or partial erection round the clock and forsaking sleep in favour of sex. Males also have genitalia of porn star proportions but because they rely on being light-weight to fly, do not have the option of carrying around both large genitalia and large brains (unlike humans- although this is yet to be determined). As a result, male Flying Foxes do not have much for grey matter. Females are likely the thinkers in Flying Fox society and are also exceptionally good mothers. They depend on the support of the community’s large female population for help in raising offspring.

The Flying Fox Man
Few archetypes have the sex drive of the male Flying Fox. He is bold, he is persistent, and he knows what he is doing. The Flying Fox man understands the art of lovemaking and will go out of his way to make sure you never walk away unsatisfied. He will happily lavish hours of attention on you, forsaking sleep if necessary, to bring you to a point of such ecstasy you pass out in sheer delight. Indeed, his tongue is as adept as his manhood which is unsurprising considering it gets a daily workout sucking the nectar out of flowers and indulging in fleshy, summer fruits.

You must be warned, however, that the flying fox man sees it his duty in life to share his gifts with the world – or at least, with the other females in his range. If you have been entertaining visions of white dresses and babies, you might be wise to look elsewhere. It is possible that he may succumb to social pressure and attempt to become a faithful partner but at the end of the day, this is simply not his true nature. The Flying Fox man is also, as much as we love him, not the brightest crayon in the box. He converses well in bedroom banter but should the topic move to politics or psychology he will likely go mute. Let’s face it, though, girls – with a man like this there isn’t much need for conversation!

Interesting Sidenote – In humans, just as in Flying Foxes, there is a correlation between intelligence and promiscuity. Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary psychologist from the London School of Economics and Political Science, has discovered that the higher a man’s IQ, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner.

The Flying Fox Woman
The female Flying Fox is not merely interested in a male who can bring her children (as is common in the animal kingdom). This lady requires a confident lover who is well practiced in the art of love making. She has no patience for a man who doesn’t know what he is doing nor does she have the time for a needy man. She also has difficulty stomaching “romance” and post coitus, expects her lovers to go back to wherever it is they came from. Do not, however, think that this woman is cold hearted. If she has children she holds then at the forefront of her life but instead of relying on a man for support in raising them, looks instead to the her vast community of female friends and family. In many ways she has it all – great sex, an active social life, and more than likely a highly successful career.

It should be noted, though, that the Female Flying Fox is actually a very rare archetype. Many women believe themselves to be Flying Foxes when in actuality they desire a loyal and loving mate but have put walls around this desire after having been burned in a past relationship. They fear what pain may arise should they allow themselves to be vulnerable and so they take on Flying Fox form as a way to feel in control. For these women, taking on this archetype might bring temporary excitement but will be ultimately unfulfilling. Any woman who believes herself to be a Flying Fox should consider researching other archetypes to see if, in fact, her true nature lies elsewhere.

The Flying Fox / Flying Fox Couple
It is rare that two flying foxes will ever pair up as these both male and female of this archetype are extremely self-sufficient, preferring to come together only at times of breeding. On the rare event that two flying foxes do settle down together, they will likely label themselves as being in an “open relationship” and will both enjoy the company of other lovers in addition to each other. This couple will also likely separate for large periods of time to partake in their own individual interests and to enjoy the company of their friends. When reunited, however, they have the best sex life in town!

The Flying Fox / Other Archetype Couple
If you are not a flying fox but are dating a flying fox, you must be a very tolerant person, indeed! Flying foxes are best enjoyed while on vacation or in situations where you only expect them to “hang around” on a casual basis as monogamy is not the natural state for those of this archetype. Flying foxes enjoy the freedom of the night’s sky and do not take well to being caged, often sneaking away to spend time on their own or to find excitement via the way of secret lovers. If you are dating a male Flying Fox you will likely tire eventually of his inability to maintain his end of a conversation. If you are dating a female Flying Fox you will likely tire of her fierce independence and tendency to resent any action which she may perceive as “suffocating”. If you find yourself struggling with these inherent archetypal traits, it is usually best to simply enjoy what it is your Flying Fox can offer you and then set them free to fly off into the night.

Famous Flying Foxes
Katharine Hepburn, Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, Tiger Woods

More on this:
Intro to Animal Archetypes
The Bowerbird Archetype
The Tape Worm Archetype